MEN – OPAUSE
Well this could ruffle some feathers and upset some MEN out there but guys this one’s for YOU!
Menopause, that dreaded time in your wife’s life where your world is going to be turned upside down, and you will have no clue as to what is going on unless your wife has prepared you in the years prior, which is what I did to my husband. Men are not going to understand the crazy woman that once was his beautiful, sane, stable wife. Men won’t understand why she is all of a sudden crying, then happy, then suddenly turns into the hulk, none of it will make sense unless you are prepared for this time in your wife’s life. So, I am here to tell you men, SHE CAN’T HELP IT! Your wife who has bore your children, kept your house, cooked your meals, done your washing, be there at your beck and call for your whole married life is now going to need YOU to support HER. She is going to need you to help in the house when she is struggling or if you still have kids at home help with the kids, don’t just come home from work and expect her to wait on your hand and foot when clearly she is having a crap day! She is going to need your support, she is going to need you to hear her when she speaks, or hear her when she doesn’t.
Menopause is a very difficult time for couples and a lot don’t make it. Women go through a transition from youth into old age, you can get all technical but that is basically what it is. During this transition women’s hormones are declining, body systems are out of whack because of the declining hormones and oftentimes your wife will be ill, her bones will literally feel like they are breaking, her body loses the ability to regulate temperature so she will have incredible bouts of heat, sweating profusely, her feet will burn, her face will burn, her body will spike and thats just the beginning. Men if you think you will ever go through anything (naturally) that compares to child birth and menopause let me correct you! YOU WON’T! Oh lets not forget the crawling skin that makes you feel like you have a thousands bugs under your skin trying to get out, I get this on my face and it’s the most annoying thing! The fatigue your wife will go through is debilitating, I am lucky I work from home so if I feel like crap I can just chill here, but a lot of women have to go to work every day, then come home look after the kids, cook dinner and then tend to your needs all while battling horrific fatigue. Some days I felt like just going to sleep and never waking up the fatigue was that bad. The constant nausea is foul, and you can’t function properly when you feel like that but somehow, women have to work out how to function, they have too much to do. Her whole body will ache, every muscle, every sinew, every cell and every bone will feel like the battle of the 5 armies is going down in her body. The headaches are some of the most powerful, intense headaches I have ever had, just breathing hurts.
Most of you are going to hate this part but your wife is NOT going to want sex. 99% of women just could not give a toss and it’s the furthest thing from their minds. When they get to bed they just want to sleep and be left alone. Surely, you can give her some grace for a while, surely you will not die if you don’t have sex for a while, surely you can put yourself on hold to help your wife who has given so much of herself to you for years, surely. If you can’t do that then you have too much time on your hands and you are a selfish a****le. If she does give in to you because, you will surely lose your appendage if you don’t get sex, then it will be a very painful experience for her. The physical transition in her plumbing is pretty gross, but it’s also painful, especially when the plumber thinks the taps need tightening.
I understand most men love their wives and they want to help, but men are generally selfish and don’t want to be put out. If you truly, and I mean truly, love you wife, you will transition with her not against her, you will hold her hand when she is lost, you will buy her flowers when she feels ugly and alone, you will recognize when she is struggling and give her a cuddle to make her feel better (WITHOUT ulterior motives). Guys, this can last for up to 10 years so prepare yourself now, you can make it through if you keep the communication lines open. Don’t go sniffing around younger women because you feel it’s your right to have sex and you will get it where you can, that’s crap, don’t do it! Honor your wives, be the man you were put here to be, help your wife get through the most difficult transition in her life and I promise you, your old age (yes you will get old too!) will be wonderful. I can tell you my husband and I have been together for 37 years, we were young teens when we got together and it’s been a tough road, but he has made sure menopause has not left me alone, he has done all the things and we have peace and harmony in our home.
Guys, it is possible to love your wife deeply even if you aren’t having sex right now. It is possible to love your wife deeply if she sleeps in another room or if she is crazy or if she looks like crap. True love will see through all that and still see the woman you married, true love will see her beauty regardless of the demon woman standing in front you. True love will endure, it was made to endure and from it will emerge the most amazing partnership you will ever experience. Keep the lines of communication open, always talk to each other, ask her how you can help her, make her feel important and you WILL get through this. Menopause is crap, but with an understanding supportive husband it is just that fraction bit easier!
Ladies: while this is a hard time for you it’s going to be a hard time for your husband as well. Educate yourselves before you hit menopause age, or if you are already there, explain to him how you are feeling is normal, explain how you don’t like it anymore than he does and you aren’t doing it on purpose to punish him or cause his life to be crap. Explain to your husband that you need his support and when you are having a bad day tell him. I pre-warned my husband and even then he wasn’t prepared for the monster that I turned into and nor was I, it took me by surprise, I just thought I was losing my mind. Once we realised what was going on it made it easier to deal with. I am still going through it and so is my husband, but we laugh a lot, he knows when I am having a bad day and will just hold my hand and not talk. Ladies help your husbands understand what you are going through and you both will be able to cope better and save, if not improve your marriage, especially if it is worth holding on to.
I write this article from my own experiences and also from many other women in groups that I am a part of. Most women feel alone, scared, and disconnected from their husbands and it’s really sad. Essential oils have helped me through this transition but that’s for another post.